Ask Gabby:Wedding Etiquette for the Contemporary Bride 2

rsvp2Dear Gabby,

I recently moved to Denver from a small town, where a couple invites close friends and family, not friend+date. Here, it is different. People who attend weddings are assumed to need the security of a partner in order to comfortably celebrate the event. And this person is often a stranger to the bride and groom. My fiancee and I just got engaged but are in a disagreement about this – I do NOT want strangers at my wedding, and he is perfectly okay with it. I consider a wedding as something intimate and private and also very special. How can I get around this trend without seeming rude?

Sincerely, Frustrated Bride

Dear Frustrated Bride,

I understand the desire to keep such a special day close to your heart (and family/friend circle!) My general suggestion is to ask yourself if you know the surname of the individual that your guest wants to bring as a date. If the pair have been dating and you have formed a relationship with the other person, it would be considerate to invite them on behalf of your guest. However, guests who are reading this should never assume that a wedding invitation addressed to you as an individual is actually a ticket-for-two unless specifically spelled out that way. Lastly, for any guests who inquire about bringing an unknown date, you may say “We are only inviting people we know to the wedding, but would love to meet her another time…” Sincere. To the point.

Choosing Your Wedding Vendors

wedding table with peonies
During the planning process, many couples get caught up in the to-do list and timing of choosing their Colorado wedding vendors. While it is important to check off your long list of wedding planning items, it is more important to take the time to find the right person for you. You don’t want to choose the cheapest planner or the wedding photographer who has great work but isn’t a good personality fit for you. I am a big believer in getting your vendors under contract quickly if you are having a Saturday wedding in the summer but I also stress to my clients to take the time to get to know the person, not just their work before signing the contract.

You will have many emotional ups and downs, moments of insanity and will sometimes second guess your decisions during the planning process. It is so important that you choose wedding vendors who will be by your side and ease your fears along the way. You don’t need to best friends with your vendors but you should have good chemistry with them and mesh well with their temperament. Don’t feel guilty if someone looks great on paper and you love their work but don’t feel like your personalities work well together. For example, if you are a shy person, especially in front of a camera, you need a photographer who can bring out your personality and make you feel comfortable. A Denver wedding photographer with a shy personality is not going to be a good fit for you no matter how good his work is.

I encourage clients to choose the vendors they feel completely comfortable with and who they trust 100% to do the best job for them. Many of us would much rather have a potential client turn down our services from the very beginning than to spend months and months in a relationship with a couple who doesn’t trust us.

Debbie Orwat
Denver wedding planner

New Engagement Congrats!


BIG congratulations to the couples who just got engaged! Here are your top to-do’s (after you call every person you know to spread the good news):

1. Hire your wedding planner – this should be you first step. An experienced wedding planner is a huge asset while you are looking at venues. Decor ideas, logistics and price crunching by an experienced professional will help you find the venue that best fits your style, budget and your vision. At Save the Date Events, we have visited or worked at over 200 venues in Colorado. We tour venues every month to keep the most current venue database for our clients.

2. Decide on the date or month of your wedding – If you are set on a particular date and it is a Saturday in May-September, you will have a more difficult time finding the perfect venue that isn’t already booked. If you have some flexibility with the date, you will have more options available to you.

3. Budget – If you will be working within a certain budget, determine the overall estimate before looking at venues.

4. Get your venue booked – Unfortunately, you aren’t the only couple looking for a wedding venue right now. Over 5000 couples who just got engaged last month will be looking at venues in Colorado in the next few months.

We would love the opportunity to meet with you, hear about your wedding ideas and see how we might be able to assist in creating your dream wedding day. Give us a call today!